I’m Nigerian, born and bred. I grew up in Agege (yes, like the bread) with my grandparents while my brave parents moved to the Western world in search of a better life, away from a post-colonial Nigeria that is still trying to heal and find itself.
I was fortunate enough to attend Ifako International School, considered something of a gold standard in the area where I grew up. But a good education and a comfortable childhood aren’t necessarily the same thing. Like plenty of Nigerian children, I learnt early that growing up wasn’t always something you could take your time with. Sleeping on the floor. Drinking garri with epa (if you know, you know). Making do with what there is. Life was centred around getting through it, and certainly not around its luxuries.
Then, in a way that reminds me of the characters in The Other Side of Truth, I found myself in London. Different circumstances, but something familiar in the experience of leaving Nigeria and becoming the new kid somewhere else.
The freshie. The outsider. The foreigner. You know how it goes.
But there’s nothing particularly new about that, is there? Children move countries and have their lives uprooted every day. The reasons differ, but the experience itself isn’t unique.
So what made it different for me?
Was it being academically inclined from an early age? Academics came naturally, even if behaving myself didn’t. I was very familiar with the cane. Apparently, being good at your lessons didn’t get you out of that one. I also skipped Year 5 and went straight from Year 4 to Year 6. The thinking was that another year at that level would have been a waste of my time.
But no, that can’t be it.
Was it sport? I was good at most sports, football in particular. I even played in the Channels Kids Cup, organised by Channels Television, around 2009 or 2010, if my memory serves me correctly. The talent was there. The opportunities were another issue. Typical Nigerian story. Nothing new under the sun.
Or was it having to grow up mentally long before I should have?
By age ten, I felt I already understood life and people. Not everything, obviously. There were plenty more lessons waiting for me. But it seemed as though I’d already encountered some of the lessons that were supposed to come much later.
And I hadn’t learnt them all the easy way.
Lying, cheating, stealing. I did all of it. I also think I learnt from it, which is the part that matters. Doing something wrong and learning nothing from it are two different things.
Anyway, I digress.
I moved to the United Kingdom. How united she actually is, we can debate another time.
The Western world brought its own problems. Once again, we’ll get into those later. After all, this is only an introduction. But it also gave me something important: more room to think beyond my immediate physical needs.
I can see something of my experience in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. As my basic needs became better catered for, I had more space to notice the other ones. My mental wellbeing. My sense of self. What I wanted from life beyond simply getting through it.
That didn’t mean I immediately started living on my own terms. There were many moons of going along with the system. Doing what was required of me. What was expected. What was assumed.
For me, as the firstborn, those expectations carried more weight. So did becoming the first in my entire lineage to complete any form of higher education. (According to Western standards, I must add. Education didn’t begin with Western systems, nor does it become more valuable simply because it meets their standards.)
Still, that journey has helped give me the privilege of sitting here now and creating a blog. Of having the time and space to write about my life, rather than only being occupied with living it.
And for that, shoutout to my parents. They put themselves through hell to create this life for me. There’s far more to say about their sacrifices, our experiences and everything that came with them. This introduction won’t do all of that justice.
We’ll unpack it all. After all, there’s time.
For now, this is a place for the thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas and wishes that keep accumulating in my head. Too many tabs open. Some of them might never close, but I’d like to do something with them.
I already express myself through photography and film. Writing is another medium I’ve loved, neglected and now want to return to. You’ll find all of those things here, following the themes I care about rather than staying neatly inside one subject.
The motto I try to live by is simple:
Live analoguely, then digitise your living.
The photographs preserve moments. The videos capture something of how those moments unfold. This is another attempt to digitise what’s happening in between: my thoughts.
So, here goes nothing.
Hope y’all enjoy.